Happy Day 43: It’s rarely good when the phone rings before 8am on a Sunday morning. My wife’s dad died unexpectedly last night. Yes, he had lung cancer, but he had been doing really well and there was no indication that death was imminent. Just last weekend on Father’s Day, at the end of their phone conversation he said he was going to go fix a window. Turns out a stealth case of pneumonia was what finally proved too much.
Heather’s relationship with her dad for most of her life has been complicated at best and non-existent at worst. It has been beautiful to watch them both grow so much in the last year and a half since his diagnosis and re-entering Heather’s life. I have learned so much about love, forgiveness, acceptance, healing.
We will miss Mike Kauffman dearly. Thanks to love, forgiveness, acceptance and healing we have no regrets. He did not die while Heather was still filled with bitterness, anger and hurt. Lots of inner work, phone calls, letters and a trip to Tennessee last June transformed all that.
It is a very sad day, but there is also happiness in knowing we have no regrets.
Happy Day 44: In the wake of my wife’s father’s death, today is a day where hugs are not only welcome but needed. There is so much comfort in physical touch.